So I’ve been thinking
Those of you close to me know that my husband has been battling some health issues and the symptoms don’t tell the doctors what exactly is going on. It could be psychological, it could be physical and we’re in the process right now of finding the right solution, but like all things it involves patience and that’s not always an easy thing. He’s losing his balance, he’s falling and has gone from totally ambulatory to now using a walker and even that sometimes doesn’t seem to be enough when his legs won’t move.
For me it’s been a soul-searching time. I had already decided to retire in May when I turn 62, I currently work full time, my husband is 72 and he’s retired. He’s not ready nor am I ready to put him in full time nursing care. So last night as I sat up until 4am unable to sleep wondering how I’m going to go to work on Monday knowing that I could find him on the floor or worse and I made the decision to quit my job and stay home to take care of him. This will require some extreme belt tightening and some inventive ways to budget. But I also know that it’s something that we can do and that the important thing is that I’m here for him just like I know he’d be here for me if the roles were reversed.
Forty years ago when I said I do the vows I made were sacred and I thank God that I’m capable of fulfilling them all for better or for worse.
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go through this trying time. We have wonderful family and friends who will support us through this, especially my wonderful daughter Erin who’s a constant breath of fresh air and goes above and beyond, and my mother who’s agreed to move in with us to give us moral and physical support.
I know it’s the right decision but like I told my daughter this morning I feel like a boat without oars right now just floating aimlessly in the water.
My plan is to keep the blog up and running because it’s important to me to hawk all things literary but if I miss a day or two don’t give up on me. Without my blogging friends it would be a cold and lonely world.