Thursday, September 19, 2013

Interview with Dr. Jeffrey A. Hall - The Five Flirting Styles

I'm pleased to welcome today to The Reading Frenzy relationship expert Jeffrey A. Hall Ph.D.
When I asked him why it's important to know your flirting style he said–".... If we know more about what we do, and what usually happens to people with each flirting style, then it may give us insight into why we end up where we do...."
See the full answer and many others below.

  • ISBN-13: 9780373892730
  • Publisher: Harlequin
  • Publication date: 8/27/2013
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 304

Flirt Smarter. Date Better. Love Happily Ever After.
Do you always attract the wrong type? Have a hard time making relationships last? Or get stuck being friends instead of lovers?
There's no one right way to flirt, but how you flirt says a lot about your chance at love. Dr. Jeffrey Hall's groundbreaking survey, the Flirting Styles Inventory, caused a media sensation when it pinpointed five different flirting styles.
"Hall tells us there is no such thing as one-size-fits-all flirting, and he has the academic chops to prove it! This book is like a GPS for singles looking for the most direct route to finding love." -Jodie Gould, coauthor of Date Like A Man: To Find The Man You Want
"This book is a stunning wealth of information when it comes to men, women, love and how we express ourselves through this dance called flirting! The biggest gift Jeffrey Hall gives us is to help us all understand each other and ourselves on a much deeper level."
-Jeannie Assimos, Director of Content, eHarmony Advice

Please welcome Jeffrey A. Hall, Ph.D. to The Reading Frenzy!

Jeffrey, welcome.
Why is it important to know your flirting style?
People often find themselves frustrated or unhappy with their ability to get others to notice them, for others to find them interesting, and for others to know they are interested in romance not friendship or just a short term hookup.  Through the free online flirting styles inventory, people can learn their own flirting style. If we know more about what we do, and what usually happens to people with each flirting style, then it may give us insight into why we end up where we do.  Being aware of how you communicate romantic interest will give you insight about how that style may not always work out in the way you want.  You might be attracting people who respond to your way of flirting, but that might not help you get the relationship you want.  The flirting styles approach is meant to help people emphasize different parts of their overall flirting style to change their approach to romance.
How does using your flirting style help you in on-line or other dating services?
Throughout the book, there are great info boxes that share wisdom from the flirting styles survey, research on dating, and my own research.  Amazingly, the flirting styles translate to online profiles, texting and sexting, and using online dating services (aka where you look for love). Here are three quick examples. Physical flirts want to meet offline as soon as possible after they meet you online, while playful flirts are very comfortable sexting with potential partners. And online dating sites are particularly attractive to traditional men.

Do you have a specific age range in mind for your audience or are there flirting tips for all ages? Or is flirting itself ageless?
Flirting is such an interesting topic, it seems that everyone at every age wants to know more about it.  Even people who are in a satisfied and committed relationship find the topic fascinating.  The book is based on the experiences of over 10,000 people ranging from 18 to 96 years old, so there isn’t any age limit on flirting!  I wrote this book for people who are looking for love and trying to figure out how it all works, and that can happen at any time in your life. What’s the biggest relationship “no no” you’ve found in your research?

Is this book for both men and women?
Absolutely. Men and women both flirt, don’t they?  Men and women are often both frustrated with their inability to send the right message.  Men and women are both involved in those first stages of romance.  Men and women may play different roles, but the flirting styles approach even takes those different roles into account. The traditional flirting style is all about how men and women play distinct roles in flirting and dating, and readers can find out how those roles make a difference in the way they communicate attraction.

Do you expect a larger readership from one sex over the other?
Although women are generally more interested in books on relationships and my work has gotten a lot more attention from women’s magazines than men’s magazines, I think that this book is really unique in that it isn’t a ‘girls’ guide’ or a ‘a guy’s method.’ The book is about how people interact during the very first stages of romance. And it takes two to tango!  I’m hoping that this book will attract both men and women who want to find out more.
What’s the biggest no-no you’ve found in your research?
Our understanding of what counts as flirting is entirely too narrow; we tend to think of flirting that only happens in bars or clubs with attractive singles.  It doesn't help that so many books on the topic are written by people advocating some system or game to hop into bed with strangers. My book isn’t like that. I am the anti-pickup artist. In my book, the biggest no-no is thinking that we all need hit the bar scene to flirt and find love. I am here to expand our definition of flirting, and tell you where the best place for you to go look for love depends on your flirting style.

Jeffrey when you set out on your studies was it leading you to this type of career path or where you once upon a time headed in another direction?
I always knew I wanted to be a college professor.  I was always a people watcher and student of human behavior. Flirting is such a fascinating thing to study, and I feel very lucky to be able to learn more about it and share what I’ve learned for a living.  I never imagined I’d write a book on flirting, but I am absolutely thrilled to be sharing my work with a larger audience.

Jeffrey thanks for stopping by to answer a few questions and letting me pick your brain a bit.
Will there be any author events/signings where people could meet you in person?
None yet, but more to come soon.

Connect with Jeffrey - Website 

Find out your own flirting style take the quiz


  1. Fascinating to read about this!
    Flirting is such an interesting topic ;).
    Thanks for the great Q&A, Jeffrey and Debbie!

  2. Hi Marilyn, thanks for the comment. And yes it was very interesting